Squishing About in My Brain

Archive for January 2011

Remember way back in junior high, when the year 2011 seemed so far off that you couldn’t fathom even being ALIVE in it? Yeah, me too. But here we are, my friends. The Eleven. We made it.

And, yes, I just bastardized the Unbirthday Song from Disney’s Alice in Wonderland for a title. I love that song. It’s completely nuts.

As those who know me best can attest to, I do not “do” New Year’s resolutions. Hayl to the NO.

While I do think that we should live aware lives, and always strive to better ourselves, I do not think that making promises to do things and make certain changes in a year is the way to go.

Please note, I HAVE made resolutions in years past. Many years. I had lists, I told people what I resolved in the small hope that having someone have the knowledge would force me to keep on the straight and narrow and achieve what I thought so direly needed to be fixed about me. Or, even better, make them babysit me when I strayed. Like I needed to be bitched at by another human being in order to do something good for myself. (Actually, I think that may have actually BEEN me, as a teenager…but I digress.)

 I stopped doing the resolution thing about ten years ago. I like to think that I am exactly who I am supposed to be, Perfectly Myself, and need no tweaking. In reality, I think it is really that I finally just woke the hell up and realized this stunning fact: LIFE IS FUCKING HARD. Yep. It is. It is supposed to be. I think that is the point. We choose a path, we incarnate, we live the path, we learn, we improve, we grow, hopefully we enjoy some of it.


So why would we, as complete and magical spiritual beings on a physical journey, want to add more stress to our lives, on purpose? Because setting yourself “have to do”s, picking over what you think is so very wrong with you, does that, in spades. Why put yourself in a position where, at the end of the year, you get to hash over what a fuckup or a failure you were, for not accomplishing what you resolved? Masochist much?

I figure there is enough in life to feel insecure, unworthy, or just plain bad about without adding to it ourselves, on purpose, every year. So I stopped.

For some of the last years, I made lists of things that I might want to work on changing in the new year. But not that I was required by Self-Law to do. A few years ago, I believe “walk the dog more”, “paint more”, “organize filing”, “get some damn exercise so your lungs start working better”, and “eat out once a month” were on there. Last year I didn’t even do that.

This year, I do not have a list. Mentally, maybe. And I figure I am a responsible enough grown-up that mentally will do for now. In my daily life, I very often note things that do not please me and what I could do to change them. The things noted change, often. But I am aware enough to note them to begin with, so yea me!

So, in that vein, I am going to share my Unresolutions with you, as they are at this very moment, in the full knowledge that they could change at any instant.


MY UNRESOLUTIONS: First Edition, 2011

 * I am not going to yell at the dogs for doing their business on the floor. They don’t have opposable thumbs, so it is obviously not their fault that when nature calls, they are unable to get to nature to do their thing. I’m gonna say “EW.” and clean it up. There are 3.85 adults in this house–there is really no excuse for the dogs not to be let out every few hours. But I am not going to yell at them for human error or downright laziness. And I ‘ll be telling the other 2.85 not to either. We need our pets more than they need us, and we need to keep that in mind.

 *I am not going to go to work when I am sick. I am a repeat offender at this, as if sacrificing myself for a job is important, appreciated, or honored, let alone at all necessary. I am a cog. We are all cogs, even if we own a business. Health before profits, people. (I sound like a Northern Sun T-shirt. And if you do not know of the greatness that is Northern Sun, you should. http://www.northernsun.com, I believe, peeps. Google it, and go.)

*I am not going to stand quietly by while someone usurps who or what I am, and takes my identity or my natural actions for their own. I am also not going to be berated or belittled for who I am. Period.

* I am not going to go through a single day without doing something that makes ME happy.

*I am going to try not to use the words “shit”, “fuck” or “blowjob” in a public setting. As much as possible.

* I am going to do something creative BEFORE I get so stressed out that I cannot.

*I am not going to stay away from Hippymom.com for long periods of time.

*I am not going to be a hermit…as much.

*I am not going to berate or belittle myself for physical flaws, and I am not going to say stupid things (even in my head) like, “Maybe without that belly you could get laid.”

*I am not going to stay home when I feel like going out.

*I am not going to undermine my intuition by rationalizing it away and going against what it tells me. My intuition is a damn fine engine, and it is powerful. I am not going to waste it.

*I am not going to only blog once a month. I am going to babble about whatever I want, when ever it comes to me, and I am going to share it; it needs to get out of my head so I can go on thinking about OTHER things. More important things, like how to make the world less skinny-focused, or how to teach people compassion in a way that won’t interfere too direly with the capitalist society we live in, or figure exactly HOW processed sugar and corn syrup can be so bad when they are clearly so damn GOOD on the tongue, or how to invent the Internet, or how to get my business running, or how to survive the Apocalypse should it arrive, or how to get people to realize all gods are one and then live in peace together, or why the plastic perforated “pull here to open” seals on things don’t ever work right, or some magic way to drink enough water even though I do not like its taste(s) –yes, water all tastes different–do not mock me, or finally figure out a hairstyle for me that won’t be straight and flat, or figure out how to survive in a money world when I am not money-centered, or what the appeal of Rob Schneider movies is supposed to be, or why my Old Lady Cat rolls in the dirty catbox, or how to finally break down the barrier of understanding between dogs and people so we can actually finally have a dialogue and TALK to each other like the equals we are (yes, I know this will not work with cats. Once they started being worshipped as gods, we were just screwed on that count.), or how to stop dust from taking over the world, or how I can get a house and a travel budget for mere pennies, or even better, FREE!, or why Gerard Butler hasn’t been lucky enough to meet me yet and let me make him the happiest man in the universe by marrying him and living happily ever after, or the REAL secret of nuclear fusion, or THE ANSWER TO ALL THE QUESTIONS IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!…

Ahem. You get the gist. See you BEFORE the month is over.

Start your Eleven by doing something that makes you happy…every single day. Go do it. Go on, do it now…


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