Squishing About in My Brain

Time, it has FLU…

Posted on: October 17, 2010

Yes, technically, I should mean flown. But Flu is what is really going on. I went to work Friday, did my favorite part of the job, which entails me and a heavy-ish handheld scanner, scanning every box off the truck and marking it backstock if it is backstock, clearance if it is clearance, etc. (I know that doesn’t SOUND like a blast, but I really enjoy it. AND my arms are getting TONED, dude!) I am probably also getting poisoned by the black marker that I use, because I cannot seem to manage NOT to mark myself at some point during the process, but that probably won’t kill me. Probably. Or at least not soon. So, did that, went on to do the hanging, and about 3 hours into my shift, I got light-headed. Like, I turned around to hang something on a rack, and my steps faltered and my head swam. Disturbing. Made me say, “Whoa” out loud. Made my coworker ask if i was okay, and ask me if I should go home. Well, probably. Anyone who knows me at all well knows that I generally refuse to give in to illness when at all possible. Some would call this stubborn. Some would call this foolish. Some would call this complete and total idiocy. I prefer to call it “strength of will”, myself. Be that as it may, I continued working until the hanging was done, but to tell the truth I was getting some tunnel vision and stayed light-headed for most of the hang. But I have a work ethic and I just WANTED TO GET MY JOB DONE, dammit! However, once the hanging was done, I had to give in. I went and found my lead and I must’ve looked like crapola because she gave me no troubles and just said, “Okay. Call us if you aren’t coming in tomorrow.” Which was nice, because I wasn’t very coherent. I believe that my answer to, “Is everything okay?” was along the lines of, “No. No. I’m getting really light-headed. And I’m getting kinda (insert two handed gesture attempting to represent tunnel vision)…” (Please note that my…strength of will…would not allow me, even then, to admit I was sick…note the use of the word “getting” when the truth was I had already done GOT.) So I went home five hours into my eight hour shift. On a day when we had a LOT of work to do, and probably all had to stay late to complete it. *sigh* I had the timing illness chooses. It ticks me off. It makes me guilt-ridden. I met a coworker on the way out and she said i was paaaaale. I promised to just SIT in my car until i knew I could drive. Se reminded me to call in at night so I didn’t have to get up at 4 a.m. to call myself in. Good idea. I made it home. I went to bed. I slept for five hours. HARD. When I awoke, I was hoping for a blissful feeling-better vibe. Nope. Worse. It didn’t help that my PMS has started the night before, so my boobs already freaking hurt like Hades, but NOW, on top of “normal” bodily aches, my “allergies” or “cold” were, undeniably, the fucking FLU. Now, before anyone jumps in to remind me that they make a dandy flu vaccine and that my workplace was offering them to us, let me digress to tell you a story about flu vaccines. Flu vaccines (I have been informed by a medical practioner) are based on…well, chickens. So, people who are allergic to eggs are not supposed to get these vaccines. I am NOT allergic to eggs, so I got one a few years back. Got sick as hell. Sicker than I would have been had i NOT gotten one. And for longer. Oh wait…I am not allergic to EGGS. I love eggs. But I am allergic to FEATHERS. Dam.Mit. Guess who stopped getting flu shots a few years ago, having only had one? Yep. So, you can see, I was not just foolishly taking my life into my own hands and flouting the almighty vaccine for no reason. I had damn good reason. Like, a previous ten-day experience of reasons which I am completely unwilling to repeat. EVER. So, I got the flu this week. I am sure my period coming (and she is, believe you me…she is on her way) just lowered my immunity enough to let that damned flu slip right in when I wasn’t looking. Cheeky bastard bug. I didn’t go to work today. I am not going tomorrow. I WANT to go Monday, as being stuck in bed for three days has already made me cranky and stir-crazy…and this is still only day TWO. But today, after drinking juice (with NO gin, I may add; try not faint with the shock) and sleeping almost the whole day with frequent unhappy awakenings overnight, my fever broke. Sing HAAAAALLL-LAAAAY-LUUUU-YAH! people. First thing I noticed, as I became less delirious?…I reek. Seriously. Sweating out a cold can really leave you feeling not-so-fresh. It’s like those not-so-fresh commercials (was it Massengill? I cannot remember right now) from the 80s, except the mom would have replied, “Yeah, but even when I feel that way, I don’t stink as much as YOU, daughter! DAMN!” Know what I learned? I am not well enough to stand up in the shower for long enough to do a good job. Luckily I figured this out immediately and with a deft twist of a knob and insertion of a plug, VOILA! a bath transpired. And then I l earned something else: my parents’ bathtub?…not as big as mine in Santa Cruz. The relaxing bath of which I dreamt? Did not happen. WAAAY too uncomfortable. But I no longer reek! I now smell lovely, thanks to Philosophy’s Eggnog bath/shower/shampoo concoction. I smell yummy. And I am still freaking exhausted. Fucking flu.



2 Responses to "Time, it has FLU…"

……and the ad, so lovingly supplied by google?
-Walgreens flu vaccines now available

:hug to you my dear

I know that “will” very, very well. I’m never sick, and if I am, ’tis just a flesh wound. Love you, my Squishtastic friend. Rest and rest well, for flu season has just begun.

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